


Because

by fms_fangirl



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Kind of a sick relationship, M/M, Other, Present Tense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-16
Updated: 2016-01-16
Packaged: 2018-05-14 08:36:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5736874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fms_fangirl/pseuds/fms_fangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grell loves William. That is all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Because

She allows it because she loves him.

The first time, after their graduation, after too many drinks, she wakes up thrilling to the possibility of a new world - one where William loves her. But the utter horror on his face, the disgust in his eyes destroys her new happiness in an instant. She lets him leave without a word, lets him pretend it never happened.

It seldom happens more than two or three times a year; there is no discernable pattern, there are no significant anniversaries, but, sometimes, Grell can feel the weight of William’s gaze and knows. She toys with idea of rejecting him, sending him away, of ensuring that she is not alone when he makes his appearance, but, because she loves him, she allows it.

She tries to lie to herself. Tells herself it means nothing, but she gloats privately over every moment, counts the memories like golden beads on a rosary. Even after his first failed collection when she is ready to give comfort and consolation, but he is angry and selfish, almost brutal in his need.

The best moments, the ones she treasures most, are when she wakes before him and feigns sleep. Sometimes, he fleetingly caresses her face or hair before he slips out the door. She is badly injured one time and he takes her so gently and tenderly that she cannot restrain the tears that fall down her face.

There have been others over the years. Nice men - better-looking than William, kinder than William, better lovers than William. But whenever she thinks she is approaching something like contentment, she feels William’s eyes upon her, feels that uneasy shift in the centre of her being and sends them away. He knows, she can tell. He is careless and casual when he visits next, her own pleasure an afterthought.

A new agent joins the Dispatch. He is handsome and charming and genuinely in love with Grell. For the first time, she believes she might be happy until he regretfully informs her he has been transferred to the new branch in Sydney. Grell lets him go and is sure that she imagines the look of triumph William directs her way at his leaving party.

But, during their next encounter, she breaks, for the first time, the unwritten rule of silence that has existed between them for over a century and utters a single word.

“Why?”

William stares at her as if astonished she could ask such a question.

“Because I love you.”

And so, she allows it.


End file.
